The last few weeks and the next few weeks too.

Guys, I think Uterus Parade might be just me for the rest of forever.

Hey! Hey guys! Do you remember...

click the image for fullsize comic

Neutered.

CLICK ABOVE FOR FULL COMIC



poor little guy

Raccoons are Questionable.

Today's inside joke brought to you via my former co-worker Caitlin, who has moved away to attend medical school. Hopefully her anal retentive qualities will better suit her there.

Let's pretend it hasn't been a month since I drew anything. Also lets pretend this comic did not take me all day (it took me all day).

Dirty Panties.

At work:


Just in case you've forgotten, the cat's name is Panties.

Hipster Hair 1 and 2

Sorry for the long absence, vicki and I are both shitheads, we will try to be better.

Only the second time I've been given flowers by someone other than my father.

I wore those flowers all day until they wilted and got all in my hair.

Natchy Histomine

Sorry Kate.

Also, stole Phil McAndrew's paper and ink and pen, and I kinda liked it. Still needs some work, but I may have found a new medium to play with.

We went to the Natural History Museum when we were in New York and have had dinosaurs on the brain ever since.

Merkin Adventure.

Hey folks. I have comics, but I am too lazy to scan them here in the United States of Fucking Hot. You can wait til I get back. But if you knew how awesome they were, you wouldn't be able to wait, but then you wouldn't have to wait, because you would have seen them already.

Stuff that in your pipe and smoke it.

EDIT:

Phil was tired of all my whining.

waitin for a bus

click on my body for full awkwardness.

(that's what she said)

the new alarm clock

The newest member of Uterus Parade Press has four legs and gets up early.

EXTRA

To make up for my severe lack of posting, and general lateness.

Adventure in Cat Adoption

Stand by later today for the stunning conclusion.

WE'RE GONNA BE AT TCAF THIS WEEKEND!

READ ABOUT IT HERE AND HERE!

WE DONT WANNA WRITE ABOUT IT ALL OVER AGAIN SO SHUT YER TRAPS!

I am too busy to draw comics for you. Please just suck it up and stop yer whining.

Lots of things on the drawing board. In the form of COMICS.

Also, our cacti are totally fucked up.

i am a real lady

pretend like you didnt see me not post weeklies for a month, ok?

getting ready for TCAF

i have been suuuuper busy, and i WILL be posting a weekly comic this week (sorrysorrysorry), but here is my excuse for the lack of being cool at all...

TCAF!

i have had to reprint every mini, so i have been back and forth to the paper store and copy centre and my apartment getting everything together...

i have been classing up my horrible smutty material with nicer covers this time around... here's a peek at the 2nd printing of "inanimate objects having awkward conversations":

black canson paper with a rag edge on the front cover? yes please. it'll be block printed just like the 1st run, but this one's nicer. sorry peeps who bought the first one... but this one kicks its ass.

"sock puppets and stool pigeons" too! this time with a lighter swankier resume paper cover. *touch touch touch* and are those bookmarks in the background? bitch must be crazy.

and whoa whoa whoa... remember that new comic i have been talking about for the past 173 months? well here it is! stencilled plaque and xeroxed type. it took a few failed trials and mucked up photocopier rollers to get this bitch to print right.

britt and i are planning to put together a weekly comics mini too! so lets hope we dont die of fatigue and being malnourished before that happens...

to be continued..

We are killing brain cells.

I am only 55 minutes late this week... Unless you count last week.... 7 days and 55 minutes...

Snap

I have been working two jobs recently, not to mention attempting to freelance. Also the computer at this second job where I do layout work and planograms is the slowest piece of garbage. I eventually gave up and moved all the files to my laptop to prevent future outbursts.

Also I'd like to thank the academy for my mention on Drawn.ca! I almost shit my pants. Of course I was working, so Vicki had to call me and tell me about it

I like cooking naked.

not really, but I like having the OPTION of doing so.




This is actually last week's comic finally finished, don't expect another for this week. Things have been a bit hairy.

cripplehands

so in the past week, i sliced my thumb open with an xacto knife, got several puncture wounds from shards of broken plate, and on top of it, last night a bipolar cat went nuts on my hand with it's teeth and claws. this cat's name is cat.

CLICK, you DICK

sorry for the lateness, I was busy.

Yeah, I felt like beating up some hobos.

vicki's gonna be pretty poor soon

so i might as well take advantage of it...

click for full comic, dickhead.

Momma needs to pay off those loan sharks.

Hello there my lovely followers, Britt here, how've you been? That's pretty much a rhetorical question there, but you can answer if you really want to.

Well as nice as all that is, I'm not really here for small talk. I have come to tell you that as of the moment your beady little eyes read this, I AM OPEN FOR COMMISSIONS!! YAY!! OMG!!

But wait. Guys. Wait. It gets so much better: PHIL McANDREW and I are teaming up on this venture! GO TEAM GO!

So here's those pesky rules:

For $20 usd plus $4 shipping, you get a 5x7 black and white drawing, subject matter of your choosing! The only thing I will not draw is your anime character engaging in Harry Potter slash fan-fic action (things happened the way they were supposed to, leave it alone). Pretty much anything else is fair game.\

WAIT WAIT WAIT, Phil makes a good point, I will not draw the entire cast of Lost. Do you even know how many people that is?! If you want something crazy like that, shoot me an email, we'll work that shit out.

Okay that seems like it, OH WAIT YEAH, IT GETS EVEN BETTER.

For $30 usd plus $4 shipping, you can have TWO drawings (count 'em, 2) one from me, and one from the magnificent Phil McAndrew! Guys, that's a wicked deal, you should totes mcgotes take us up on it.

Here are some examples of the style of drawing you can expect from me:




Alright, let's get the ball rolling! I have provided a convenient paypal button below for your every commissioning need! Use the drop down menu to tell me if you want one or two drawings, and use the little typey field to let me know what you want your drawing OF. If for some weird reason what you want is too long to put in that little box, shoot me an email at britt@brittwilson.com, and give me the low-down.

EDIT:
Comissions closed for now, thanks dudes!

True Story.

britt is a con(wo)man

britt keeps making me watch terrible movies. last time, twilight. this time, new moon.

what a bitch.

This is why.

next stop, hungertown

today, britt reminded me that it was my weekly comic day... yesterday.

SORRY GUYS!

as an apology, you get a BONUS!!

did you see britt in that ron popeil infomercial?!

follow up with Brett..

so brett from the sun didnt email us back after we sent the WORST EMAIL EVER... i think we offended him...

so we wrote to him again. we're creepy fucking bastards...

#definitelyblacklistedthistime

dear brett:

we're sorry for the terrible email we wrote the other night, we were just kidding! we really really appreciate the writeup in the Sun, and we wish we could just get past this and be friends again... we hope you can forgive us...

please accept this chocolate with heartfelt apology filling (i hope you like cherries)

oh yeah. i forgot, you cant attach food. damnit.

sorry for that too. now i have cherry filling in my usb port. shit.

sincerely,

vicki & britt

ps- i dont know what to say here, just thought it was good for symmetry.

Adventure Awaits.

I was so close to putting a greyscale on this. But dang, these are just weeklies guys, fuck you, I already put too much work into these.

erotic arts and crafts @ the gladstone

thank you to Brett at the toronto sun for writing about us HERE.

britt and i attempted to write him a kindhearted email in thanks, which resulted in the MOST UNPROFESSIONAL EMAIL EVER.

Subject: thanks. for nothing.

Hey brett,

thanks for making us look like complete assholes. i hope every douchenozzle in toronto reads this pile of garbage and buys our shitty valentines as a result.

unfortunately,

vicki and britt

ps- we're not as witty as you portrayed us. but thanks and we appreciate it.

pps- we hope you enjoy the chocolate we have enclosed.

ppps- not really. there's arsenic in there...

pppps- not not really... you cant enclose real objects with emails. i found this out the hard way.

IN OTHER NEWS, the fair was wonderful. thanks to all that stopped by and made faces at us from across the room.

life lessons

so after britt's AMAZING comic this week, i got to slack off on mine.

this is a lie, i am just a terrible person.

this is our pal roben, who can also be seen in "roben has a big cock", a minicomic that britt and i worked on together last fall. it was the worst experience ever. that is untrue. no it's not. yes it is.

it was a birthday gift for roben, and if you're super nice to us, maybe we will make one about you too. did i mention that roben is a SAINT!? i didnt? oh. good luck then.

COME VISIT US HERE THIS SATURDAY PLEASE.

we will embrace. unless you are creepy. then we wont embrace. just saying...

i mean, LOOKIT ALL THIS STUFF!!

this AND MORE available at our uterus parade booth/table/spot/gutter.

see you there!